Feeling Upset, Small, or Uncertain? How to Rebalance Yourself and Move Forward
Have you ever faced a situation that caused emotional upset — yet found it hard to think clearly or decide what to do?
Did it ever feel like you were stuck, or that your confidence and good sense had temporarily abandoned you?
Well, thinking about how the human body works in physical movement can be a useful way to think about these types of moments, and what might be done about them.
Human movement arises from competing forces: some muscles pulling us forward, some pulling us back.
Through this opposition, the appropriate amount of tension is created to allow movement that is both powerful and adaptable.
This means that, as human beings, we have to balance a combination of tensions and inputs in order to move through the world physically.
And perhaps that insight can also help us think about how to effectively move through the world mentally and emotionally.
When we move, our brain directs electrical impulses through our nerves to activate muscles.
These muscles don’t just cooperate — they compete, stabilize, counteract, and coordinate with one another.
Primary movers, secondary movers, neutralizers, stabilizers — agonists and antagonists — are all ways of describing the complex interplay of muscle roles that make any given movement possible.
It’s not simply that we move forward or backward.
Movement arises from competing forces: some muscles pulling us forward, some pulling us back.
Through opposition, we get - an appropriate amount of tension - that allows human movement that is both powerful and adaptable.
It’s reasonable to think that our mental and emotional life works the same way.
And that the right tension between thinking and feeling is what allows for effectively navigating our minds, emotions, thoughts - as well as our relationship to the minds, emotions and thoughts of others.
Progress — whether in thought, feeling, or decision-making — may come not from a single, dominant force, but from the balanced tension between opposing ones.
That balance, when functioning well, allows us to think clearly, articulate desires and needs, and choose actions.
Changing Gears Creates & Manages Forward Motion on a Bike
A useful metaphor here is the movement of a bicycle.
A bike’s chain connects a system of gears to the wheels. Depending on which gears are engaged — and the terrain beneath you — pedaling can feel effortless or grueling.
That’s because the gears impact the power output of the bike.
Getting the “gear ratio” right allows the rider to maintain steady effort and pace.
For those not familiar here’s a quick summary below:
1. Smaller gear (easier pedaling, slower speed):
On a bike, this usually means:
Smaller front chainring or larger rear cog.
Each pedal stroke turns the wheel fewer times.
So it’s easier to turn the pedals (less force needed), but you don’t go very far with each turn — it’s slow but manageable, especially uphill.
Think: spinning fast, not going far — great for hills or starting from a stop.
2. Larger gear (harder pedaling, faster potential speed):
This means:
Larger front chainring or smaller rear cog.
Each pedal stroke turns the wheel more times.
So it’s harder to push the pedals (more force needed), but each turn moves the bike farther — ideal for speed on flat ground or downhill.
Think: more power per stroke, more distance per turn — harder, but faster.
Stuck Gears & Changing Gears: Managing Forward Motion in a Mind and Life
The human system — body and mind — shifts in similar ways.
Emotional and physical states act like ever changing gears.
Just as our heart rate and blood pressure change, so do the mental states and energy levels in our body - and, hence, our abilities in thinking and feeling.
That’s why when the terrain gets bumpy or steep (difficult situations or emotions) - a human being might still be “pedaling,” but if the “chain” has slipped — as it sometimes does on a real bike — there may be no traction.
You can push the pedals all you want, but the power doesn’t reach the wheels. You go nowhere.
This can happen during emotional overwhelm.
If you observe people who share openly when they’re in touch with challenging emotions, they often find it hard to think clearly or decide what to do.
It’s not a failure of intelligence — it’s a disruption in system coordination.
This means that any of us can be temporarily “cut off” from our sense of perspective and clarity of purpose when “the chain falls off”.
Yet, in some situations, when someone is able to share what they’re feeling — and that expression is received — something often shifts.
Pressure releases. Clarity begins to return.
It’s as if the chain has slipped back into gear.
You can actually observe this happen in yourself or when working with people experiencing emotional upset.
Suddenly things seem clearer - or it’s easier to make a decision.
Empathic listening helps people process emotion and, in doing so, shift gears.
That’s why if a conversation is in an emotional place - the tai chi Ninja move - is to try to shift gears in one’s self and the other person.
But keep in mind that other inputs — like physical exercise or focused attention — can also recalibrate the system, rebalancing internal forces and restoring forward motion.
If you’ve ever carried a 40kg weighted ball for distance, you know that the longer you carry it, the heavier it feels. Your heart rate climbs. Muscles fatigue. When you finally set it down, the relief is not just physical — it's physiological and mental. The system recalibrates.
Strong emotional states can be just as heavy. They can jolt the system the way a bump in the road might jolt a bike chain off its gears.
In that moment, movement stops — not for lack of effort, but because the system has been thrown out of alignment.
Restoring balance — whether through talking, movement, or connection — is what puts the chain back on.
Importantly, it’s not that thinking or feeling are bad. Like muscles, one might be overactive or underactive, but both are essential.
Forward motion doesn’t come from eliminating tension. It comes from the right kind of tension — the kind that allows movement to happen.
When people get stuck and can't think clearly or take action because the emotions and body sensations have knocked the chain off their balanced system - and they’re spinning their wheels - a variety of inputs may be needed: including empathy, movement, gaining perspective, support or something else - that can help them release and shift mental and physical tension - and re-establish balance - to help them move forward again.